Does anyone else who suffers mental health problems feel bored when there’s no crisis? It’s good not being suicidal or erratic and stuff, but it’s so illogically tempting to go cold turkey on medication just so something will happen.
My life is the calmest it’s been in such a long time, despite big things going on around me. Instead of my usual meltdowns I’ve been the calm at the eye of the storm.
But I’m painfully bored.
Borderline personality disorder is often likened to being on a roller-coaster. The problem is, as terrifying as rollercoasters are – they’re also exciting. The adrenaline rush makes them addictive.
I wouldn’t wish mental health issues on anyone (much). It isn’t pretty like in films. It hurts when you500vip彩票线路测试r parents find tissues covered in blood from when you500vip彩票线路测试 self harmed, or seeing the scars on you500vip彩票线路测试r stomach turn purple when it’s cold. It hurts reading the morbid quotes you500vip彩票线路测试 texted you500vip彩票线路测试rself as a reminder of you500vip彩票线路测试r sins whilst in the throes of cold turkey (‘eternal damnation!’).
Dealing with mental health issues is like an eternal search for peace, but once things seem remotely peaceful you500vip彩票线路测试 squirm and start thinking up ways of creating havoc. The future doesn’t seem exciting, because finding that happy place feels impossible.
But you500vip彩票线路测试 keep trundling on, because maybe this time things will be better.